Future Shit, by The Ellevators

Future Shit

by The Ellevators

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Huey Hesson Hot diggity, this is some solid rock and roll. It took me right back to the days of Babbages and Mint-A-Burst gum, and all the emotions attached to that. Every song is its own statement, and every statement is its own mitochondria, which as we all know, is the powerhouse of the cell. Seriously, this is an album worth every second it asks of the listener. Definitely give it a shot. Favorite track: Vital Signs.

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Only 100 of these were printed, most of which were given as gifts to the featured artists or were mailed to radio stations. It is highly unlikely that any more physical copies will ever be made. I only have 10 to sell. CD Baby, at the time of writing this, has 5.

This CD is in an ecologically-thoughtful eco-wallet sans cellophane and features downright gorgeous art by Sam Cooper of SWC Design. It will be shipped via Media Mail in a compostable mailer.

Includes unlimited streaming of Future Shit via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.	Gaslit 04:00	lyrics	buy track
ankle biters street fighters glove box full of dead Bic lighters your noise is white spit and spite I can’t stop feeling all the fleas you put on me oh shit no more gaslit and you’re and you’re carrying that torch a one man super horde and god I’m bored sounds verbs without a noun vomit out your mouth and wither on the ground white diamonds slant rhymin’ deaf and blind in a game of Simon black n’ blue it’s on you I can’t stop pickin’ at the scar you left on me oh fuck one more gaslit and you’re and you’re carrying that torch a one man super horde and god I’m bored sounds verbs without a noun vomit out your mouth and wither on the ground still remember just an echo cold Chinese and flat Prosecco with you then you ruined it by speaking yeah you ruin everything by speaking you’re carrying that torch a one man super horde and god I’m bored sounds verbs without a noun vomit out your mouth and wither on the ground and wither on the ground
2.	Dirty Yellow Chair 01:56	lyrics	buy track
it was the take a penny leave a penny romance of the year your string cheese kinda sexy pulled apart and made it clear that like an obese baby folks should give you a wide berth I whispered twisted acts into your back until you gave the word our rusty fingertips were checkers at a casting call for Chess your catchphrase was a killer and you sentenced it to death the TV shouted German cinematic ill-repute I learned that blindfolds are a dollar if you’re willing to buy two and now you’re sitting there in your dirty yellow chair laughing as my face disappears after several weeks my knees were sanded to a sheen you never kissed me after despite all the Listerine and when you said I’m ready draw and quarter me to bed I looked a gift horse in the mouth and saw the armies in your head you resembled execution like a falling cigarette I stared at your decision turned the green into a red retreated to your kitchen made myself a plate of crow left your studio apartment wondering who you might know and now you’re sitting there in your dirty yellow chair laughing as my face disappears yeah you’re sitting there in your dirty yellow chair laughing as my face disappears
3.	Vital Signs 03:40	lyrics	buy track
hey Is anybody out there gotta move out make out test for vital signs hey would anybody care bodies shut out they shout out lovers need new crimes testing for signs of life sound in a wash of light testing for signs of life I’m testing for vital signs hey is anybody out there hope it falls out burns out trails the quiet night hey would anybody care words they shoot out breathe out up towards the air testing for signs of life sound in a wash of light testing for signs of life I’m testing for vital signs
4.	Moonlanding 04:53	lyrics	buy track
if the moon was gonna fall quit orbit and kill us all I'd race to the top of the city and when that orb filled up the sky before it crushed us til we died I'd reach up press my hand into the dust I don't believe in the moonlanding no one’s ever walked upon its face don't try to sell me on the moonlanding there is no such thing as outer space and if the sun decides to dim steals the blue days on a whim I’d dig to the center of the earth and when I got down to the core shinin’ ‘neath the ocean floor I’d reach down press my hand into the fire I don't believe in the moonlanding you can’t fool me with pictures of its face Don't try to sell me on the moonlanding nothing can survive in outer space
5.	Hey There Schoolboy 03:50	lyrics	buy track
hey there schoolboy I’ve got what you’re feelin’ explain the world misquote Betty Friedan hey there schoolboy thought before and after don’t keep me waiting let’s drive like disaster faster you don’t know what you’ve been missin’ please go on I swear I’m listenin’ schoolboy don’t you wanna see how lonely we could be blame it on biology and fall asleep forever oh my delicate schoolboy hey there schoolboy show me all your secrets bet I could guess some don’t you think ‘bout leavin’ hey there smart guy now you know how it felt was it something you drank lay down you look like hell oh well darlin’ I smell fear on your lips in your bloodshot eyes and cold fingertips schoolboy don’t you wanna see the darker side of me blame it on biology a chemical imbalance oh my terrible oh my terrible schoolboy tell me how the story begins the who what where and why paint yourself a picture square and shining in colors so bright yeah right schoolboy don’t you wanna see the highlight of the scene blame it on biology and rot beneath the floorboards with all the other schoolboys oh my delicate schoolboy
6.	Future Shit 03:03	lyrics	buy track
cyanide cross my mind and hope to die he said she said expired tropes best if used by the suffragettes are spraying tans in minivans the crystal ball could use a coat of Armor All and magazine rack horoscopes are sellin’ hopes to soccer dads still lusting after undergrads we were gonna change the world (save the world save the world) then we got buried by the world (by the world by the world) future shit future shit presently past living for it future shit future shit tomorrow’s sorrow and I’m over it down with dudes don’t need their rings or clever moods I’ve got you pegged still got the bruises on my legs the suffragettes are ditchin’ tabs and stiffin’ cabs the crystal ball could use a shot of Demerol the Magic 8’s and Ouija b’s and little leaves in tiny cups are spellin’ out hey give it up we do it all extremely well (very well very well) we do it so it hurts like hell future shit future shit presently past living for it future shit future shit tomorrow’s sorrow and I’m over it don’t want anyone to die but I wish they were dead told my mom and my dad went over one of their heads who are you what’s your name I don’t care anymore careful what you’re askin’ for future shit future shit presently past living for it future shit future shit tomorrow’s sorrow and I’m over it I’m over it I’m over it

about

Future Shit is a punchy, anthemic, feminist, verbally-intricate pop rock love letter to the 90's featuring songs about love, sex, and telling dudes to f*** off.

My friend and former bandmate Stephanie challenged me to write an original "chick rock" song that our female artist only cover band, Abby Normal, could perform. I asked her to give me a title. She said "Gaslit," and I was off and running.

We never performed the song live, but the joy of creating that song, combined with an already well-established love for Veruca Salt and the OST to Josie and the Pussycats made me want to make an entire EP of that music. What came out ended up being 3 songs fueled by that sound ("Gaslit,""Hey There Schoolboy," and "Future Shit"), a Mazzy Star-esque ballad ("Moonlanding"), a pop rocked-up version of a Common Men song ("Vital Signs"), and a song that I had started writing 15 years ago inspired by the Jonathan Lethem novel, "You Don't Love Me Yet" ("Dirty Yellow Chair").

The psuedonym for this project, "The Ellevators," was created in the vein of the rock bands of the 90's with badass, femme-slanted names like Veruca Salt, The Breeders, and Elastica. It's also a reference to an inside joke Steph and I have.

I want to thank everyone who contributed to this album and its artwork with their time, talent, and care. And thank you to everyone who's had to listen to me gush or, more often, whine about its creation.

credits

released March 1, 2019

All songs written and produced by Michael Stettes,
except “Vital Signs” written by K. Aparicio, K. Ian, and J. Sims
Recorded and mixed by Kenny Eaton at Mystery Ton Studios in Frederick, MD
Additional recording at An Undisclosed Location in Alexandria, VA, and at home
Mastered by Joe Lambert at Joe Lambert Mastering, Jersey City, NJ
Performed by Andrew Baughman, Sam Cooper, Michael Heuvelman, Chris Mathews, Jason Mendelson, Stephanie Sapienza, Benjamin Stahl, and Michael Stettes
Album art design by SWC Design
© ℗ 2018 Michael Stettes except “Vital Signs,” © K. Aparicio, K. Ian, and J. Sims, covered here with express permission
All rights reserved.

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Stettes Rockville, Maryland

Michael C. Stettes is an artist surviving in the No Man's Land between Washington, DC and Baltimore, MD.

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